Haven

Haven

Haven is one of those “connected” movies, think 2004’s Crash. Its title is an oxymoron but you would have to watch it to figure out why. The movie starts off somewhere with Carl Ridley’s (Bill Paxton) daughter Pippa Ridley (Agnes Bruckner) celebrating her 18th birthday at a restaurant. Her father arrives only to give her a birthday present and leaves soon after.

I don’t know if its just me but if I saw that scene elsewhere without knowing the relationship between the two involved, I’d surely think, that’s a couple. Like a couple who fucks.

Anyways! Blah blah blah and Carl has to leave for the Caribbean because he fucked up some illegal money thingy (I’m thinking laundering). Precious lil’ Pippa (okay, what the fuck kinda name is that?!) is upset because they have everything in Miami, her friends, memories and her mother’s ashes.

So they arrive and here is where it all happens, this is where the chain reaction starts. I won’t say anything that gives away the ending but let’s just say it was not disappointing nor typical.

But I will say that these Caribbean people are almost impossible to decipher, God knows what the fuck they’re saying (think Yeah Yeah, Sean Paul). Some scenes where I think even the director (Frank E. Flowers, and I think the spelling is an attempt to be hip hop orientated, Frankie Flowers would have worked just fine! But he grew up in the Cayman Islands, so who the hell knows!)

Where was I? Right! These people speak weird, so weird that there are subtitles! Hearing Bloom Bloom attempting this made me choke on cigarette smoke!

Here’s my take:

Bill Paxton: I like, his acting comes off as authentic

The Pippa Daughter: Hmm…ooookay, she wasn’t required to do much anyway, just be blonde and a slight brat.

Bloom Bloom: Bloom Bloom will be Bloom Bloom, always the good earnest boy, so its nothing out of his reach. Its like watching Legolas speaking Japanese or something.

Zoe Saldana: I never liked her, her face was just made to hate. And if you look closely towards the end where she’s at the pier, my God! Those are humongous nostrils! And I couldn’t tear my eyes off them even to listen to what she was saying!

Victor Rasuk: Now this guy, I find him considerably irritating! From the talk to the walk to the dreads but there’s a scene in a laundromat where he gets what he’s worth from a cop and I found that a very pleasing sight! And something tells me he’s sooooooooooo Chevron’s type and she’ll be gushing all about him!

The rest of the cast just do their thing to make the story work, so I won’t my precious time!



2 ½ pills out of 5