Hannibal Rising

Hannibal Rising

This movie documents the beginning of Hannibal Lecter from a young boy to a pubescent boy to the person we see in Silence of the Lambs.

While it would be interesting to fans or people who have watched the previous offerings, it might be a tad bit dry, slow and boring to those who don’t.

While the lead actor Gaspard Ulliel seems too goody two shoes to be playing Hannibal Lecter, he doesn’t fair too badly, even though his motive is vengeance, he seems to enjoy and relish every minute of it….but then there’s Gong Li who I last saw in “Miami Vice”. Of course I only watched the first 10 minutes because farrell and foxx stank (see how they didn’t deserve to be in capital letters there!). I could actually whiff major major B.O coming off my screen! I absolutely had to turn it off or risk being suffocated by the stench of wannabes and bad acting!

Anyway! Where was I? Right Gong Li! When my dear chappy when to watch Miami Vice in the theatres (yes, she paid real money for it), she told me that every time Gong Li said something, she was thinking “What the fuck did she just say?!?!”.

And not surprisingly, she was incoherent in this movie too. I’ll just come out and say it because we are thinking it but no one can find his or rather her balls (ok! Whatever, Lene!)

Dumb ignorant chink whore.

There! And don’t pretend you were not thinking exactly the same thing! I know! I’m telepathic!

And another thing, she’s playing a Japanese woman. See, you really can’t tell them apart.

Umm…yes the movie!


Things I found out so you don’t have to!

• Family lived in Lithuania in a castle
• Had a younger sister who was eaten by who else, but Nazi soldiers
• Beheaded first victim (a butcher) but did not eat him
• Sister was chosen because according to the “medical expert” present, she had pneumonia and was going to die anyway.
• 2nd victim was also beheaded but this time Lecter ate his cheeks



And more thing, am I the only one who realizes that Hannibal rhymes with cannibal? What is that about?


2 pills out of 5